A Falcon's Sidekick
by Specter24
Summary: It was just an ordinary day in the Smash Mansion, until Captain Falcon is threatened by a mysterious person, and the only way to catch this criminal is with the help from the other Smashers, but could one of them be the criminal? NOTE: ON HIATUS!
1. Intro

Hey, everyone, I'm back. How's everyone doing? It's been a while since I've finished my last story, One Piece: A Smash Adventure. I've been doing nothing, but building up my DeviantART account with some artwork, and posting chapters of my smash hit story daily, while also fixing some grammar mistakes in the chapters, of course.

But ever since I finished that story, I've felt somewhat empty inside. And I had some more story ideas in my head, so I finally decided to fill that void in me by working on another project.

Alright, so this story won't be big as OP:ASA, and I don't plan to take it that seriously, or update it that daily. This is more of a silly fanfic with lots of humor and stuff. I will only update when I feel like it. I'll be more busy trying to make artwork related to OP:ASA, incase anyone is interested.

Okay, enough about me. Let's get this story on the road!

* * *

The Super Smash Bros. Tournament. A tourney where the strongest warriors from different worlds and eras chosen by Master Hand come together, and fight for the title of strength and honor. These tournaments take place in the mystical land of the Smash world, which is world unlike any other. The Smash world was filled with mystery and excitement, as it brings creatures of all kinds together to cheer for their favorite Smashers duking it out with one another. With a world that brings joy and peace to all that set foot there, it is the only world in existence to not have any chaos or disorder... which brings us to this story today.

**A FALCON'S SIDEKICK**

It was beautiful morning in the Smash world; all the residents that came from their worlds are having a wonderful time spending their days out of their ordinary lives in the wonderful town of Smashtown. Smashtown was a place for all visitors to stay during the Smash Bros. Tournaments, as it includes atmospheres from every world the Smashers belong to, from plants to technology, everything was there for the comfort of the part-time residents. Despite being from other worlds, they all coexisted in peace, making Smashtown the most peaceful city ever... which is a little hard to imagine, considering that every town is everything, but peaceful.

Anyway, it was the beginning of a new month, and Master Hand as given the Smashers a one month vacation before they could commence the tournament finals. Mario and Sonic have fought long and hard for these last couple of months, as these two will fight eachother in the finals for the Super Smash Bros. Championship, earning the honorable Smasher of the year award.

But, Mario and Sonic weren't worried about that now; they just want to have a relaxing time before their fight, as well as the rest of the Smashers.

Up on a hill far away from the Smashtown was the infamous Smash Mansion; the mansion where the Smashers stay during the Super Smash Bros. Tournaments. The Mansion was three stories tall, but on the inside was even bigger than you could possibly imagine. Around the mansion were a set of gardens in the front and the back. On the west side, there was a playground for the kid Smashers to play, as well as a big pool on the northern area. And there was nothing much on the East side of the mansion, other than a few trees in the front and back, and around the mansion was brick wall to prevent any trespassing, and obviously, there was a gate in the front to pass through.

"Tag! You're it!" Nana said happily as she tagged her brother, Popo, before running off.

"Ha ha! I'll get you, Nana!" Popo laughed as the siblings were playing tag in the front garden.

Lucario was nearby, meditating on the grass with his legs crossed, and his back facing the mansion's front wall. Pit was also there, as he was watering the flowers in front yard with a watering can.

"There you go. I hope you enjoyed that." Pit said happily to the flowers, "Now let's see if there is any other kind thing I can do around here. Being nice is fun!"

While Pit was being giddy, Wario was nearby, organizing some junk in his bag. He took out a golden toothbrush, or atleast it looked like one, as it turns out, it was just ordinary toothbrush coated with golden paint.

"Yes, this looks like the real thing." Wario chuckled as he puts the brush back in the bag, "After taking all night turning useless junk into authentic-looking artifacts, I will sell them at a high bargain. By the end of today, I will be stinkin' rich! Wah ha ha ha ha!" Wario then carried his over his shoulder, and left the mansion grounds.

On the east side of the mansion grounds, Mario, Luigi, and Peach were strolling around the trees there, enjoying their morning.

"Isn't this lovely?" Peach asked with a smile as she stood under a big, healthy-looking honey tree, "I wish we can do this every morning; just walking around here without a care in the world."

"That's-a great idea, Peachy." Mario replied, "I-a promise that-a I will-a accompany you around-a the garden every-a morning from-a here and out-a."

"Oh, that sounds great, Mario." Luigi said, "I will promise that too. I love peaceful and relaxing strolls more than anything in this world."

"Thank you, you two. Oh, I just know that this will be the best vacation ever." Peach said happily.

Unbeknownst to them, however, was that the evil King Koopa, Bowser, was stalking them from behind a corner in the front side of the mansion.

"Gwa ha ha! Enjoy your vacation while it lasts, Peach. Because soon, I will come up with a plan to capture you again, and there is nothing the Mario bros. can do to stop me! Gwa ha ha ha ha! Ow!" Bowser grunted as an egg with green spots hits him upside the head.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi exclaimed, standing behind Bowser, and looking at him angrily after throwing an egg at him.

"Agh! Hey, you weren't suppose to interrupt my moment!" Bowser yelled, pointing at Yoshi, "I don't care if you don't like my ideas; I'm going to go through with them, even if you were to get in the way!"

"Hmmm!" Yoshi mumbled as he threw more eggs at Bowser, forcing him to cover his face with his arms.

"Gah! Stop doing that! Go away!" Bowser yelled as he fled, while Yoshi chased after him.

Meanwhile, at the west side of the mansion, Pikachu and Toon Link were on the sandbox, building sand castles with their plastic buckets and small shovels.

"It looks really good, Pikachu." Toon Link said, as he and Pikachu finished making a decent-looking sand castle, "How about we make it even bigger."

"Pikachu!" Pikachu replied happily. While those two were having fun, on the pool nearby, Olimar had some of his pikmin wearing floaties, and were up on the diving board, where Mr. Game & Watch was also watching them from below.

"Okay. Now jump!" Olimar said as his Pikmin followed his order, and jumped to the pool below. They all landed in the water, creating a small splash, as they were then seen floating on the pool's surface. Olimar took notes, as he was satisfied by the results. "Yes, yes. That was splendid indeed. I'm very glad with the results.

Mr. Game & Watch, standing next to Olimar, made a beeping noise as he held up a card with a '2' on it, judging the pikmins' dive with it.

"Dooh! Don't be such a critic! That was a good jump for these little creatures, and you know it!" Olimar argued, while his pikmin were just swimming around the pool out of boredom.

On the back side of the mansion, lied a big garden filled a variety of plants, mostly flowers. There was also a grey road, and a round. 4 way intersection in the middle, which had some benches in the around the radius, and the Super Smash Bros. emblem in the center.

There lied Marth and Ike, sparring with eachother as they were simply having a friendly duel. They clashed blades with one another, as they exchanged glares.

"Feeling tired yet?" Ike asked with a smirk.

"You wish!" Marth replied as they both jumped back, and swung their blades at eachother again.

Over the Mansion gate from the east side, Fox and Falco were cleaning up their arwings with cloths and sponges, as this was their way to enjoy the morning.

"Mmm. We should really get one of those G-wing enhancers." Falco suggested as he was standing on his arwing, washing the glass of the cockpit. "My ride could really use some tune-ups right about now."

"We just upgraded the boosters last week." Fox laughed while wiping off the smudges of the left wing of his arwing.

"I know, but what good are boosters if the wings couldn't handle them? I don't know about you, but I actually care for my little boy right here." Falco said, referring to his arwing.

"Ha ha. Whatever you say, Falco." Fox chuckled.

Sonic the Hedgehog was out of the mansion, running across the fields as fast he could. He was enjoying his vacation so far, so it's hard to tell when he'll come back.

Back at the Smash mansion, inside the first floor, the floor was covered with white tiles, with a brown rug covering most of them. Facing against the front wall was a big plasma screen TV, with a coffee table in front of it, and a crescent-shaped couch in front of that.

Kirby was on the couch, taking a long snooze on it as he was sleeping peacefully. Beyond the furniture just mentioned were two set of stairs, leading up to the second floor, which the Smash Bros emblem on the wall second floor could also be viewed, even on the first floor.

Red, and his pokemon: Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard, came down the stairs in a rush, as Red then faced his pokemon excitedly. "Okay, guys! The pokemon tournament is just a few days away! Let's train real hard so we can win the championship!"

Red's pokemon shouted in agreement as they all then ran out of the western door, going past a cardboard box up against a corner. Snake was under the box, doing something under there, but it's probably nothing important.

Past the staircases, was the dining area, where a big rectangular dining table was for all the smashers can dine on.

The only smashers there was Link and Zelda, sitting next to eachother as they weren't exactly at eachother eye to eye. "It's um... a really nice day today, isn't it?" Zelda asked.

"Y-Yes. It really is." Link replied quickly. They remained quiet afterwards as the only thing could be heard was the ruckus coming from the kitchen in the door right to the dining area.

The kitchen was a little small in comparison to the rest of the rooms in the mansion, but it was still big enough to cook in. In there was Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, as they were gathering an unmeasurable amount of bananas from the magic refrigerator, which will never run out of food no matter how much it's taken out of it.

"Ha ha! I think we got enough bananas for the big sundae! Let's go, little buddy!" DK said excitedly, carrying most of the bananas, while Diddy only carried a few.

"H-hey! Wait for me, DK!" Diddy shouted as he and Donkey Kong rushed out of the kitchen, leaving Wolf alone as he drank his cup of coffee, and reading the daily paper.

Up on the second floor, the halls were long, and were very well decorated. A crimson carpet covered the floor, with some lamps on the columns, and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. On the walls were covered with different kinds of paintings, and on other side were the dormitories, where the Smashers have their individual rooms to sleep in.

R.O.B. was in the second floor, dusting off a painting of a black heart with black flames below it with a duster. R.O.B. is not only a smasher, but he is also Master Hand's personal assistant, as R.O.B. finished dusting the painting, and was about to leave, until he felt a small breeze in the hall.

R.O.B. turned around, and noticed another painting was tilting sideways. As R.O.B. went to adjust the painting, R.O.B. felt another breeze, and as soon as the robot turned around, he sees that the painting he dusted off was titled also. After adjusting the tilted painting in front of him, he went to adjust that tilted painting, but again, he felt another breeze in the hall.

He turned around to see the painting he just adjusted was tilting again, as R.O.B. shook his head before going to fix that, as Crazy Hand snickered behind wall. It turns out it was him tilting the paintings as he moving in super speed to fool around with poor R.O.B.

"Hee hee hee! Being naughty is fun!" Crazy Hand snickered before he continued to mess around with R.O.B.

In one of the dormitories, Samus was in her room, managing her equipment in her Zero Suit, while hearing what was going on the just outside in the hallway.

"R.O.B. is going to zap him again..." Samus sighed while adjusting her arm cannon. A few seconds later, Samus saw a purple light coming in from the bottom opening of her door, as she could also here Crazy cry like a little girl. "Knew it..."

In Dedede's room, King Dedede and Metaknight were playing chess, as Dedede thought long and hard what chess piece to move. "Grr... this game is so hard... I MOVE THIS ONE!" Dedede yelled as he moved his knight closer to Metaknight's King. Metaknight was one move away from beating Dedede, but as loyal as he is, he didn't want to upset His Majesty.

"Look, Your Majesty! A pig with wings!" Metaknight said pointing upwards.

"What!?" Dedede looked up, as Metaknight then moved the chess pieces around, putting them in an order so that Dedede could win. "I don't see anything!"

"I'm sorry, it's just..." Metaknight paused, "Your Majesty, look. You won the game."

"Eh? I did?" Dedede blinked as he looked at the chessboard, and since he didn't know how Chess worked, he gloated anyway, "Ha ha! I win! Yes!" Dedede jumped off his chair, and began jumping up and down his bed in victory. "I'm the winner! You're the loser! I'm number one!! Dyeh heh heh heh heh heh!"

"Congratulations, Your Majesty." Metaknight said, bowing down before his king, honoring him even though he is a big jerk.

Moving along; up on the third floor, there was not much difference in the hallways of the second floor, except everything has a greenish color instead of red.

Ganondorf was there, having his arms and legs crossed, and his back up against the wall as he looked through a window at the back end of the hallway beside him with a frown. Nothing else is going on with him, so we're moving on.

There were not many rooms up in the hallways, but they were bigger than the rooms below. In one of the rooms was a cinema room, where the Smashers could see a movie in a theater-sized screen.

The only Smashers there were Ness and Lucas, watching a bad movie just for the fun of it.

"Has anyone seen one!?" One of the actors said as Lucas gulped nervously on his seat beside Ness.

"Relax, Lucas. It's only a movie." Ness reassured.

"I-I know. It's just that everyone in it seems so scared." Lucas said nervously.

The actor then started to jump around, throwing sand in the air for some reason. "A demon! A monster! A BEAST! YAAAAGHH!"

"Aaaahhh!!" Lucas gasped as he clinged onto Ness' arm, as Ness laughed weakly while rubbing the back of his head.

In another room of the third floor was the arcade room, filled with many kinds of arcades. Behind the karaoke machine was Jigglypuff, singing into the mic as the room itself was sound-proof, so her singing couldn't be heard from out of the room. She sang so beautifully, that even the video game characters in the arcade games fell asleep. Yes, her singing was that powerful.

Yes, everybody was having a great morning, but there was one Smasher in particular that was enjoying it more than everyone else.

Up on one of the balconies, our main protagonist of this story, Captain Falcon, was enjoying the view of the rising up over the horizon. He sat on his chair, with a small round table holding his cup of juice beside him, and having his laptop on a small desk in front of him. Falcon took a deep breath, and lets out a pleasant sigh.

"Ahh, what a beautiful morning this is!" Captain Falcon said happily, "There is no other way to enjoy a month-long vacation, other than enjoying this great view of the sun rise!" Falcon took a sip of his juice, and looked at the sun again, "Yep. This really is comfortable. I wonder how I should spend my vacation time? Perhaps I could take the Blue Falcon out for a ride in town. Or maybe drive around the fields to see how big they really are. Whichever the decision may be, I'm sure I'm going to have a good time."

Captain Falcon continued to enjoy the sights as he placed his hands behind his head to relax even more. Then suddenly, his cellphone began to ring, as Captain Falcon picks his cellphone from his waist, and puts it up on his ear.

"Hello? Captain Falcon speaking." Captain Falcon said cheerfully. Falcon could only hear the sound of someone breathing heavily from the speaker, which made Falcon blink in confusion, "Hello?"

"Seven days..." Replied a sinister voice from the other line.

"Excuse me?" Falcon asked.

"What? No, sorry. Wrong line..." The voice said as he cleared his throat, "Ahehehem! Hello, Captain Falcon. It is honor to be speaking to you at last."

"Who is this?" Captain Falcon asked with a stern look.

"Don't be alarmed, Falcon. I will only take a little moment of your time." The voice reassured, "You see, I've been observing you for a very long time, and I have been dying to have something of yours."

"Is this you, Austin? I already have a restraining order against you, and your so-called fan club." Captain Falcon said.

"No, no! I'm not that kind of stalker, you idiot!" The voice replied angrily, "I desire something much more important than that. Something I will treasure forever."

"Who are you?" Captain Falcon asked.

"My name is not important." The voice replied, "But instead of worrying about me, you should be worried about yourself if you refuse to follow my demands." Captain Falcon remained silent, as his pleasant mood from before disappeared, "I sent you an e-mail. Go to your inbox, and open it."

Captain Falcon crouched down to his laptop, and went into his inbox, seeing that he has one new e-mail. He opened it up, and what he saw shocked him.

"It can't be!" Falcon gasped as he was so surprised, he fell back onto his chair, gazing at what the email contained, "Where did you get this!? I demand that you tell me right now!"

"Let's just say I have my resources." The voice replied, "I have to have the right materials in order to get the things I want after all."

"What do you want from me, villain!?" Captain Falcon asked angrily.

"I want one thing and one thing only. I want to possess the secrets and the rights to use your most powerful move, the Falcon Punch!"

"WHAT!? NO!! Not my Falcon Punch! I'm the only one capable enough on using it! Not to mention that move has given me such a great reputation, especially thanks to that one video in Youtube! If I give you the rights to use that move, nobody will think I'm cool anymore!"

"Let me ask you this: Would you prefer to lose your reputation as the man with the mightiest punch of all time, or would you want to lose your dignity as a man by forcing me to spread this little bit of info to places where people will see it?"

"Listen you! If I find you-"

"Don't bother; I'm too smart to get caught!" The voice said viciously, "All I want from you is that smexeh punch of yours, and don't worry, you'll still be unique. Once I learn the secrets, I'll post them on Wikipedia, and everybody will be able to use that powerful punch, while you just watch and cry as everyone in existence will be manlier than you."

"You're crazy!" Falcon exclaimed, "Do you know what would really happen if everyone were able to use the Falcon Punch!? It will be crazy... CRAZY!!!"

"Look, calm down. I didn't expect you to give me the right answer right away." The voice said, "I'm going to give you a month to decide what you want to do. If you decide to go my way, give me a call using the phone number on the bottom of my e-mail."

Captain Falcon looked at the e-mail, and saw the phone number, 9-3925-385595.

"You have plenty of time to think about this. And just in case you fail to meet my demands, I'm going to post your dirty little secret all over the internet... and newspapers, maybe,... or billboards... if I have that kind of budget, but you get what I mean! You have 28 days to think this over, Fal-"

"What!? That's not a month! That's only a majority of days!" Captain Falcon yelled.

"Wait, really? Hold on..." The voice said surprised as there was a long pause. Captain Falcon could hear a lot of noise going on, until he could hear the voice panting from the other line, "Yeah, you're right. Nevermind. It's 31 days. Sorry. I don't get why some months has more days than others..."

"You're never going to get away with this, whoever you are!" Captain Falcon exclaimed, "I don't care how self-absorbed you may be, I will find you! I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know how, but I will find you, and you will face justice!"

"Well... you have one month. You better get started. Gee hee hee hee hee hee hee! Bye!" The voice said before he hung up.

Captain Falcon was silent, as he couldn't believe how fast somebody can ruin his good mood. Falcon puts his cellphone away, as he turned back to his laptop, and erased the email. He then closed it, and was to leave, until something worried him.

He turned back, and puts the laptop on the floor, and poured his juice all over it, causing it to blow a circuit, and die out. "Nobody will hack into it now..." Falcon said, as by destroying his laptop, he destroyed the evidence of his biggest secret. He was about to leave, until he got nervous again, "... No, that's not enough!"

Falcon came back to the balcony, and stomped his laptop to prevent anybody on fixing it, and looking at the data it contains. Panting, he then threw his laptop over the balcony, and ran out of his room in sheer panic.

And outside of the mansion, Luigi was knocked unconscious by the destroyed laptop as Mario and Peach tried to make sure if he was alright.

-

Master Hand's office was the biggest room of the mansion. It was atleast a quarter mile long, with the walls covered in bookshelfs with tons of books obviously. At the end of the office was a small wooden desk with some papers, and behind that was a wall completely made of glass, and you can see the entire Smash Town, and the front yard through it.

In front of the office, Master Hand himself was finished making a brand new door for his office was made completely out of staind glass, which added elegance to the office.

"Perfect. Now whenever I need to take a break, I can always look at this work of art to put myself at ease." Master Hand said happily, "All I have to do is add a friction spell over it, and it should be as indestructible as a-"

"MASTER HAND!!!"

Captain Falcon kicked right through the stained glass door, destroying into millions of millions of pieces that scattered throughout the entire office. Master Hand was flabbergasted by this as he was at a lost of words.

"-rock..." Master Hand finished what he tried to say earlier. He then lets out a huge sigh, and looked at Captain Falcon, who seemed jittery, and nervous about his dilemma, more-so than before. "Is there something wrong, Captain Falcon?"

"Um, Master Hand. I'm sorry I came here so abruptly, but there is something you need to know!" Captain Falcon said, as Master Hand then sounded like he was worried, "Okay, so I was enjoying this morning like everyone else, until I get this call from some lunatic, and threatens me by wanting to reveal my deepest, darkest secret to the public if I don't give him or her or whatever the rights and secrets of my Falcon Punch! I don't know why, but this person is sick! A monster! A crazy person! A sick, loony, crazy, crazy, CRAZY PERSON!! Do you understand!?"

Master Hand was silent for a while before he spoke, "Yes, I see; a crazy person is after you..."

"I just don't understand why! It's so stupid! I can't believe someone is trying to do this to me!" Captain Falcon said while pacing back and forth, "I'm very honorable, yet people are always trying to get me! It's sickening, I tell you! SSSICK!"

"Uh-huh..." Master Hand replied, not really caring that much, "Well, first off, can you think of anyone that has a vendetta against you?"

"I don't know! All my enemies are afraid of me! They wouldn't dare to try and pull off such a dirty scheme." Captain Falcon said, "Say, why don't you help me find him!? You're the owner of this world! You have the power to do anything you want here! Can't you just snap your fingers, and bring that dirty person here!?"

"It's not that simple." Master Hand replied, "I'm not saying it's not possible, I can do that, but I have restricted myself of using any powers that may deem too powerful even for my own good. I'm sorry, but I refuse to go against my way of life, and abuse my powers against others."

"Master Hand... with all due respect... but stop being so damn selfish, and live a little! HELP ME!!" Falcon begged on his knees.

"I'm sorry, Captain Falcon. If you want to find this guy, you have to find him on your own." Master Hand said, "But I'll tell you what: when I'm done cleaning up things here, I will help you find this perpetrator."

Captain Falcon nodded slowly, and took a breather before talking, "Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone crazy like that." Falcon than faced the exit, "I have enough time to find this person anyway. Don't worry about me; I'll find this villain soon enough."

"I wish you the best of luck." Master Hand said.

"Thank you. Now if you excuse me, I have a criminal to hunt down!" Captain Falcon said in a manly fashion as he left Master Hand's office in a hurry.

Master Hand sighed as he then looked at all the pieces of his door throughout the office. "I should probably put this up again." He said as he picked some pieces of the glass up, and started placing them back where they belong, "1... 2..."

Captain Falcon rushed across the hallways of the second floor, until he gasped, and stopped running, "Wait a minute! I cannot take this manner lightly! It's going to take more people to find this person! After all, two brains are better than one." Captain Falcon then snapped his fingers, and raised his fist in the air.

"I know what I need! I need help from my dearest friends here in the mansion! I need a sidekick!!!"

* * *

Okay, there we go. From here on out, Falcon will have one smasher helping him on his quest in each chapter. I don't know yet if the rest of the chapters are going to be shorter or longer than this one, but I will say alot of craziness will happen later.

I hope this chapter was alright. Expect the next one much later. Ciao for now!


	2. Mario

Mystery Guy: 1) I sorta knew that Ace was going to get killed in the war, but it was still shocking to see. Curse that Akainu... 2) For the record, Sasuke didn't kill Danzo; Danzo blew himself up. In fact, most of Sasuke's fights are pathetic since he never wins normally; like against Orochimaru, Sasuke waited until he was sick to finish him off, and when he fought against Deidara, Deidara blew himself up, and the fight with Itachi, Itachi simply overused his abilities, and killed himself on purpose. The fact that Sasuke going crazy is not surprising, since he's the lowest of the low. He is an irritable human being, it makes me wonder why Naruto loves him so much. I don't like him. I HATE HIM!! I... ahem, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I'm sorry if I offended any Sasuke fans reading this, I just don't like him.

So anyway, this is certainly not the way to introduce a story, but whatever. Like I said before, I will only work on this when I'm really bored, and it's not like I'm taking this fic seriously or anything, but still, this should be an interesting read anyway. Oh, and this story is no way connected to my smash hit story, One Piece: A Smash Adventure. Anything you see here from that story are simply easter eggs, and that's it. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Sidekick No. 1: Mario**

**Day 1, 10:24 A.M.**

Mario was fanning his brother Luigi with a blanket, as Luigi has somewhat regained consciousness after getting hit in the head by Falcon's laptop. Luigi was sitting on the ground, resting his back against the honey tree with his eyes swirling around in dizziness.

"Are you sure you're okay, Luigi?" Peach asked concernedly, as she was on her knees, seeing if Luigi was alright.

"I'm fine..." Luigi said dazed, "I just like how all the stars are circling around my head. Yay, ugh..."

"Oh dear, how could this have happened?" Peach asked while getting up as she then looked up at the sky, "I didn't even know this world could rain laptops. If I would have known sooner, I would have stayed indoors all day."

"I-a don't-a think that is-a possible, Peachy." Mario said with a weak smile, "Perhaps-a somebody dropped-a it from-a balcony above-a."

"OoOOoohh, no, , don't hit me with the mallet." Luigi said dazedly. Peach then looked more concerned for Luigi than before.

"Oh, this doesn't look good." Peach said as she then looked at Mario, "Mario, can you please get Luigi something to drink from the kitchen? I'm sure he'll feel better if he drinks something.

"Okey-dokey, Peach! You stay-a here with-a Luigi, and I-a go get some-a drinks for-a all of us in-a jiffy!"

"Thank you, Mario." Peach said happily, until Luigi passed out again, and fell on his side. "Oh no!" Peach gasped as she knelt down, and gave Luigi some air by waving her hand in front of him.

"I-I'll-a be right-a back!" Mario said as he left Peach and Luigi to get some refreshments for them.

Mario walked around the mansion, and entered through to the big front door to the right. He walked around the first floor, passing by Kirby who was still sleeping, as Captain Falcon then appeared coming from the hallway in the second floor. Falcon looked over the wooden rail, and saw Mario was about to go into the dining area.

"Mario!" Captain Falcon exclaimed as he jumped over the rail in a cool fashion, and landed in front of Mario.

"Whoa!" Mario gasped as he shook his arms up and down before falling down on his rear in surprise. Mario soon regained his composure, and stood up while dusting some dust off his rear, and then looked at Captain Falcon. "Oh, you-a scared me, Captain-a Falcon."

"I'm sorry for rising your blood pressure, Mario, but I am in dire need of your assistance." Captain Falcon said as Mario looked at him curiously. "Mario, I am in a great dilemma that can only be resolved by beating the living daylights out of the person who is behind this. But I can't do this alone, so it would be a great honor for me that you become my sidekick."

"Oh, well-a, I would-a like to help-a you out-a, but Luigi-"

"Please, Mario, I beg of you! My reputation as a man is at stake here!" Captain Falcon pleaded, "I can't give you all the details, but I assure you that this will not take long as long we work together! Please, Mario, PLEASE!!"

"Ooohh..." Mario looked back at the entrance, not sure what he should do, "W-Well-a... I suppose-a Luigi can-a wait for-a few minutes-a."

"GREAT! WE MUST HURRY! THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE!" Falcon exclaimed as he grabbed Mario by the back of his overalls, and hurried out of the mansion with him.

"Owawawawawa!"

**--10:32 A.M.--**

Captain Falcon and Mario were walking along the crowded streets of Smashtown. Captain Falcon was keeping a sharp eye out for anything suspicious, while Mario seemed a tad uncomfortable walking beside him.

"Um... what-a we looking-a for again-a?" Mario asked.

"Some sort of clue to find where this evildoer is located." Captain Falcon replied, "This person has to be around here; he or she contacted me earlier today, and there is no way any kind of communication can come from another planet to here."

"How do you-a know that?" Mario asked.

"Simple; my cellphone can only receive calls from the world I am in." Falcon explained with a smile, "It was a good thing that I was so cheap to only get world offer distance instead of the intergalactic one, otherwise, I would have never known where to start looking."

"Yeah, that's-a good..." Mario said with a weak laugh, "I'm-a sorry, but why-a we-a doing this again?"

"Like I said before, I am being threatened by this person that's wants to know the secrets of my Falcon Punch." Captain Falcon explained, "If I don't follow by this person's demands by the end of the month, he will do something so drastic, that it will make my life miserable forever."

"Why? What does-a he-a have against-a you?" Mario asked.

"I-I am sorry, Mario, but I can't tell you." Falcon blurted out, "It's a very personal matter, and I have never revealed it to anyone before. If you were to know about it, even you would lose your respect towards me."

"Oh... nevermind then." Mario said as he and Captain Falcon continued to walk on the sidewalk, "So-a, where do we-a go first?"

"I'm not sure yet." Captain Falcon replied, "We need to find a lead first, but we must do so casually. We can't afford to attract any attention out here, otherwise, this whole mission will be a bust."

And just as Captain Falcon said those words, one of the citizens walking by instantly noticed him and Mario. "Hey! It's Mario, and Captain Falcon!"

At that moment, everybody in the street rushed over to Captain Falcon and Mario, including the drivers in the area, with some of them crashing into eachother by sheer accident, but they came out with no injuries except for their car damages. There were also people jumping out of windows, and landing near the two Smashers. It was chaotic, but nobody cared; they just wanted to be around Falcon and Mario at all cost, as the two were completely surrounded by people.

"I can't believe I'm standing in front of Captain Falcon!" Yelled one of the citizens in delight.

"I can't believe Mario is looking at us!"

"Falcon! I heart youzz!"

"Alright, everybody! Settle down!" Captain Falcon yelled while some of citizens were hugging him and Mario tightly, "I know we are very popular, and more attractive than you will ever be, but we are as equally as important as all of you. So please, stop giving us so much attention!"

"Ooowooohh!" Mario cried as the citizens were tearing him apart without even knowing it.

But as those two were being adored by the citizens, there was one in particular that was observing this from behind a corner of a building. This person was wearing a long brown jacket, with black gloves, white boots, and a shady hat. His/Her face was concealed by his hat you can see nothing, but his/her round, yellow eyes.

"Hee hee hee hee hee! That's right, Falcon. You go ahead, and try to find me. In the end, I will get what I want, and there is nothing you, or anybody can do to stop me. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" This person with an unidentifiable voice.

As the person laughed, Falcon's eardrumbs bounced repeatedly. Captain Falcon frowned as he turned his attention to where the evildoer was hiding, "I HEAR EVIL LAUGHTER!! COME ON, MARIO!!"

"Huh!? He actually found me this early!? Damn, he's good!" The person panicked as he ran off into the dark alley, with something falling from his pocket in the process.

Falcon ran past the crowd, holding Mario by the back of his suspenders, as he then stopped in front of the alley, dropping Mario beside him.

"Ohh! What-a happened!?" Mario asked dazedly before getting up.

"I heard someone laughing evilly around here." Captain Falcon said sternly, "There shouldn't be any reason for someone to laugh evilly unless they are doing something evil."

"That makes-a sense, I-a guess..." Mario said.

Captain Falcon searched around the ally, but saw no sign of anybody, nor any clues for that matter. "Whoever laughed just now is now gone. Tsk! If only I could find a clue!" Falcon said irritatedly. He then looked down, and saw something. He got on one knee, and picked the object up as Mario approached him from the side.

"What is it?" Mario asked.

"A card." Captain Falcon replied, "It's a business card at that. However, the logo's been rubbed off, and I can't tell where this is from."

"So what do we-a do now-a?" Mario asked.

Falcon rubbed his chin in thought, until he snapped his fingers, "I bet we can find this evildoer in a business around here. We'll just have to start searching in every place."

"Um, how-a long is that-a going to-a take?" Mario asked concernedly, "Because, I still-a have to go-a back to Peach, and-"

"Do not worry, Mario, this won't take long at all." Falcon said with a smirk. He then got up, looking at the card he was holding, "In fact, I have a hunch where we should start looking first."

**--10:45 A.M.--**

Captain Falcon and Mario were in the outskirts of town, facing in front of an enormous facility of some sort. "A sewage treatment plant?" Mario asked, "Are you-a sure we should look-a here?"

"Positive. That evildoer is pretty clever, and I bet he will hide in a place nobody would suspect to look first." Falcon said with his arms crossed, and with a smile, "This highly-class facility is the perfect place to start."

"There-a so many people-a here though-a." Mario said, noticing the workers walking around.

"Precisely why this is the perfect spot to hide in." Falcon replied, "That person will blend in with the workers here, and will be difficult to find if investigations happen to occur here." Falcon then looked at Mario, "Here's the plan: we will disguise ourselves as workers here, and we'll search the entire facility from head to toe. We are bound to find this criminal in five minutes tops."

"Good. I-a really need to get-a back to the mansion-a." Mario said a little worryingly, "I want to-a know if-a Luigi is alright-"

"Enough chitter-chatter, Mario. Let's move!" Falcon interrupted.

Falcon and Mario then walked towards the entrance to the sewage treatment plant, but before they could get any closer, the gates lowered before them. The two were startled by this, as a grumpy man popped up in the booth next to the gate.

"Can I help you?" The grumpy man asked.

"Um, yes. We would like to investigate these grounds for a little while." Falcon explained with a kind smile, "Me and my sidekick here are Smashers, you see, and we would be grateful if you would let us through, while also allowing us to wear the uniforms here to disguise ourselves during our investigation."

"Mmm hmm, please wait a minute..." The grumpy man said as he hid in the booth. Falcon and Mario waited for a couple of seconds, until suddenly, the opening of the booth spewed out a pile papers over them. The two were surprised as they sticked their heads out of the pile, seeing the grumpy man in the booth again.

"Um... what is-a this?" Mario asked.

"This is the paperwork you must fill out in order to work here, weh." The grumpy man replied.

"Work? No, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken." Falcon said while trying to get out pile of paperwork, "Like I said before, we're only here to-"

"Look, if you want to come here, and wear the official uniform of this facility, you both are going to have to fill all this paper work, and apply for the job here! Weh heh heh nyeh heh! WEH!"

"A job!? That will-a take forever-a!" Mario gasped.

"Nonsense, Mario!" Captain Falcon replied optimistically, "If this is the only in getting in here, then we have no other choice. Don't worry; inspite of all this paper here, I'm sure applying for a job in this facility will only take 5 minutes tops."

**--14:07 P.M.--**

After the horrendous amount of time with the paperwork, Captain Falcon and Mario are finally in the manager's office. They were both sitting in two separate chairs, wearing the tacky uniforms over their cloths.

They were sitting in front of the manager, who was a little chubby, wearing a blue suit, and was a bald, and only had hair at the back of his head; he was like any other generic boss for short. He was looking over the paperwork behind his desk, as Mario looked frustrated.

"Luigi must be-a suffering like-a crazy by-a now." Mario complained in a hushed tone, "We-a wasted so much-a time here for a job I-a do not-a want!"

"Relax, Mario." Falcon said calmly, "We'll be searching around here as soon as this kind man lets us in."

"How do-a you know-a? What if he doesn't like-a us?" Mario asked.

"He will. I mean, I'm a well sophisticated man, and you're a plumber; we are bound to get the jobs."

"That is-a stereotyping..."

"Shh! I think he's done." Falcon hissed.

The manager placed the papers neatly on his table, and puts some sanitizer around his hands. He cleared his throat before he placed a napkin on his desk, and placed his cupped hands over it.

"So you want to get jobs here, I presume?" The manager asked with a smile. Captain Falcon smiled back, while Mario only smiled forcefully, "Well, needless to say, you two are very well qualified for the job. It would be an honor if two of the Smashers would work for me."

"So does that mean we get the job, Mr...?

"Neatly; Jonathon Z. Neatly. But you can call me John." The manager --Mr. Neatly-- said while getting up, "And yes, you two get the job."

"Oh thank you, 'John'." Captain Falcon said with a light chuckle, "We will not let you down."

"I know you won't, because today happens to be a very special day for me." Mr Neatly said. He then walked to a portrait of himself next to his desk, "You see, I am a man who has worked all his life to keep this town and this facility free from any disgusting germs. I've been keeping this place clean for the last thirty years, and today, I will be inducted in the hall of cleaningness for being the most clean person of all time. Ho ho ho ho ho!"

"I see. Congratulations!" Captain Falcon said.

"Oh, thank me when I get the award later today." Mr Neatly said, "Now, my boys, let's get to work. Make sure you don't leave any spots behind. Ho ho!"

"Don't worry, 'John', Mario and I will make sure to 'clean' this place out." Falcon said happily.

"Oh-a brother..." Mario facepalmed.

Captain Falcon and Mario then left Mr. Neatly's office, and were now in the core of the plant, which had several railings, and with the center having humongous tubes cleansing out the unmentionables gathered from the pipes in town.

"Alright, we're in!" Falcon said looking over the railings, "Now all we have to do is sweep the place from top to bottom without getting caught."

"That-a sounds time consuming... but let me-a guess, it will-a take-"

"Yes, it will probably take atleast 5 minutes." Falcon replied while Mario only sighed. "Okay, let's go!"

And so, the two began to search every single part of the plant, which I will not give any details, because I'm too lazy to point out where they were looking.

**--14:42 P.M.--**

Captain Falcon and Mario returned back from where they started their search, as they have failed to find any traces of the antagonist.

"Oh... Falcon-"

"FIVE MINUTES! It will take another five minutes to find him!" Falcon blurted out.

"Well-a, no! It will take-a billion hours to find-a anything here with-a your searching-a skills!" Mario yelled.

"Okay, let's just calm down..." Falcon breathed in and out slowly, "Let's just observe our surroundings again, and see what we can find this time in calm and slow manner."

"As-a if we hadn't-a been going-a slow already..." Mario muttered.

Captain Falcon looked over the railings, looking over the main floor filled with workers, "Nothing here but... wait a sec!" Falcon noticed someone in particular, sneaking around the floor.

"Did you-a find anything?" Mario asked.

"That man there; he's looks very suspicious." Falcon said rubbing his chin, "And he's not wearing the regulation uniform... and he's attracting mud into the facility! Who is he!?"

"Hee hee hee!" The mysterious person stood in the center of the floor, as it turns out he/she was the same person spying on Falcon and Mario from before, "Hey, everybody!" Yelled the person, "They are giving out free cupcakes in the cafeteria!"

"CUPCAKES! YAYZ!" All the workers exclaimed with delight as they left their positions, and rushed towards the cafeteria, leaving the main floor empty.

"Cupcakes!? At this hour!? That liar! Why would he say something like that!?" Falcon asked enraged.

"Actually, I think it's a woman. Or atleast he-a sounds like-a one." Mario said upon observation.

"He, she, whatever! Just what is that person doing!?" Falcon asked.

The evil person approached the main valves in the facility, and turned them one by one counter-clockwise, causing a malfunction to the system. "Hee hee hee hee! Once I mess up the flows of the sewage pipelines, the whole town will be flooded with their own unmentionables! The whole place will be such a wreck, not even Falcon will have the 'guts' to look for me! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

Falcon's eyes widened with rage, "Did you hear that? DID YOU HEAR THAT!? That's the fiend we've been looking for! Let's get him/her!"

"Whoa!" Mario chased after Falcon by jumping over the railing, and landing on the main floor. The evil person turned around to see Falcon and Mario in front of them.

"Stop right there, you fiend! We found you, and we're not letting you escape!" Falcon exclaimed while pointing at the person.

"Gah! Falcon! We meet at last!" The evil person said, "You're pretty fast in finding me, Falcon, but I've been watching you this whole time when you were in town... not that I was there when you heard someone laughing, though."

"Whoever you are, you will not escape from me! I will bring you to justice!" Falcon exclaimed.

"No, you won't!" The Evil person said. Without turning around, he turned the valve behind him, causing an alarm to go off. "Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" The person the flees from the scene as Falcon gives chase.

"Mario, turn the valves back the way they were! I'm going after him/her!" Falcon yelled before running off.

"O-O-Okay!" Mario panicked as he rushed over to one of the valves, and starts turning them, "Oh, this is so intense...!"

Falcon chased the person up the stairs, as the person then grabbed a drum oil on the higher floor, and pushed it down the stairs towards Falcon. "RAPTOR BOOST!" Falcon uppercuts the drum oil, and goes after the person even faster. Once Captain Falcon reached the corridor, he sprints towards the person that was about to leave through the exit. "I got you!"

"Hya!" But the person turned some small valves near the exit, causing it to blow out steams from the pipes, blinding Falcon when he got close.

"Ugh!" Falcon gasped as steam stopped coming out, and looked to see that the evil person has already escaped through the exit, and heard his/her laughter echoing in the background. "I won't let you get away!"

"FALCON!" Mario yelled loudly, getting Falcon's attention, "I need you're-a help! I can't-a get all the-a valves in time by myself-a!"

Falcon looks back at the exit, trying out what to do, "Urgh... hold on, Mario! I'm coming!" Falcon exclaimed as he rushed back to where Mario was.

The machines were acting crazy, as the pressure meter near the valves were at their limits. Mario was turning them as fast as he could, but it seems he was running out of time. "Hiya!" Falcon then jumps in, and helps Mario with the valves. With the two of them working together, they were able to twist all the valves in time before the pipelines could explode in town.

"Phew... we-a made it." Mario said, as he sat down, catching his breath.

"That fiend may have gotten away... but atleast we saved the town..." Falcon said, sitting down beside Mario. He then looked, and looked at the monitor on the wall, depicting the status of the pipes throughout town. He blinked as he noticed the facility in the map flashing red. "Mario... what is going on in that screen?"

Mario looks at the screen, and nods, "Oh, that is the-a status of where the sewage is flowing within the pipes in town."

"I see... is the plant there suppose to be flashing like that?" Falcon asked calmly.

"I don't-a know... maybe those-a arrows in the pipes pointing-a to the-a plant has-a something to-a do with it." Mario replied, seeing the screen depicting the pipes in the map underground flowing the sewage directly towards the plant simultaneously.

The two remained quiet as they saw the word 'warning' flashing over the plant in the map. A few seconds later, they sat up frantically, and rushed back to the valves.

"I think we-a turned them too-a much! We got-a hurry, or this-a place will-!"

"Don't panic! The sewage is moving slow enough for us to get things back in order!" Falcon yelled while twisting the valves, "Just as long as nobody flushes within the next five seconds, then we are a-okay!"

-

Meanwhile, a cute, little pink anthropomorphic cat girl was watching TV in her living room, and you can clearly see the sewage treatment plant from out her window.

"Oh! I gots to go potty! Nya, nya nya, nya nya!" The cat girl skipped merrily towards the bathroom, and closed the door.

And a few second later, after flushing the toilet, you can clearly see from out of the cat girl's window, that the entire sewage treatment plant exploded into a mushroom cloud of... human depositories.

-

The entire plant was destroyed, and it was covered with unmentionables. All the workers are covered with it too, as one them looked at the stinky cupcakes, and cried.

Falcon and Mario emerged from the unmentionables, as they were covered by it from head to toe. "Oh, mama-mia... this will-a never come off..."

"Yes, it is unfortunate what happened here, but atleast no one was hurt." Falcon said with a smile.

Then suddenly, Mr. Neatly emerged from the dirty pile of unmentionables behind our heroes. Falcon and Mario looked behind their shoulder to see Mr. Neatly infuriated with them, as he had several veins popping out on his forehead, his hands clenched into fists, and not to mention that he was dirty.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU TWO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS MESS!?!" Mr. Neatly asked furiously.

Mario was terrified by Mr. Neatly as he hid behind Captain Falcon for protection. "Oh, h-hello, John." Falcon said with a weak smile.

"You don't have the right to call me by my first name anymore! YOU WILL CALL ME MR. NEATLY!"

"O-O-Okay, Mr. Neatly, I can understand why you're upset, but we can fully admit that all of this wasn't fully our fault." Falcon said calmly, but Mr. Neatly only got angrier, "Um, alright. But the important thing is that nobody got hurt."

And at that moment, a thin bald man with round glasses, and a brown suit came through the open entrance, holding a certificate with his right arm.

"Salutations, good sirs. I am from the cleaningness association." Said the bald man with a nazal voice, "I've come here to induct Mr. Neatly into the Hall of Cleaningness with this certificate."

Mr. Neatly gasped, and looked at the certificate man, "Oh no!" Mr. Neatly said horrified.

The man then took note of his surroundings, and his smile disappeared. "Hmm..." The man didn't looked amused as he took out a white glove, and puts it on his right hand. The man knelt down, dragging his finger across part of the floor that wasn't covered with doodoo. He then looks at his finger, seeing a little smudge on it.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh my, this simply will not do." The man then grabs the certificate, and tears it to shreds as the pieces fell on the floor, "Have a good day, Mr. Neatly. I'm sure you'll get the award in the next thirty ears."

The man left as Mr. Neatly crawls towards the pieces, and picks them up one by one. He then snarled as he grabbed the back of his hair, and pulled the majority out of his skull. With a fierce look in his eye, he turned back at Falcon and Mario who gulped as Mr. Neatly pointed at them.

"You will pay severely for this!!" Mr. Neatly.

"Mr. Neatly, I cannot express how sorry I am right now." Falcon said, "Please, tell us what we can do to resolve this."

"Yes, Mr.-a Neatly; we-a really want to-a make it-a up to you." Mario nodded in agreement.

"Oh, you'll be doing for something for me alright!" Mr. Neatly fumed, "Starting today: you will clean all this mess; you will repair all the damages; and you will be working for me day and night for an entire month!"

"A whole-a month!?" Mario gasped as he then sighed, "Oh... well-a... I guess we-a deserve this, right-a, Captain-a Falcon?" Mario then to Falcon, but to his surprise, he disappeared. "Captain-a Falcon?" Captain Falcon was gone from the scene, as Mario nervously looked back at Mr. Neatly, who was so angry, he didn't even notice that Falcon disappeared.

"GET TO WORK, SLAVE!!!"

"Owaowaowaowaowaowa!" Mario cried as he grabbed a mop, and started cleaning up the place, while Mr. Neatly began to pull more of his own hair out again.

Far off on the fields, Captain Falcon panted heavily as he looked back at the destroyed plant, ashamed for ditching Mario.

"I'm so, Mario, but I cannot afford to waste a whole month with you." Falcon said sternly as he then looked ahead, "I must capture this villain at all costs, before it is all too late! ... But I need another sidekick first."

Falcon then limped away, with flys flying around his head in the process.

**--14:54 P.M.--**

Peach was still waiting for Mario to come back, as Luigi had foam coming out of his mouth, "Gingerbread... I like... gingerbread..."

"Ugh, Mario is taking too long! I'll go get something for Luigi myself." Peach said a little angry as she dropped Luigi on the floor, and went into the mansion to get something for him.

* * *

So, that's one sidekick down. Who will be next? I won't tell, but I will say that I am going in a particular order, and you'll just have to find out what the order is from. Ciao for now!


	3. Link

My god, where did my motivation go? I seriously hate updating this slow. I have really have to focus next time. Anyway, enough of my rants. Here is the next chapter to Falcon's crazy sidekick adventure! Enjoy!

* * *

**Sidekick No. 2: Link**

**Day 1, 15:06 P.M.**

Back in the Smash Mansion, Link and Zelda were still in the dining area, sitting next to each other in front of the left side of the dining table. The two of them have been quiet all day; they haven't even realized how much time have passed since they sat next to each other.

The two were looking away from each other, as they appear to be nervous.

"So, um... did you enjoy the trip to the museum the other day?" Zelda asked, nervously looking at Link. Link blinked in surprised as he then gulped.

"Uh, yeah. It was nice. I.. liked the paintings, and the historical.. stuff..." Link replied while sweating.

"Good, good..." Zelda laughed weakly as she wiped the sweat off her brow, and looked the other way again.

The two were quiet once more, as the silence was killing them. The truth is that they have big feelings for each other for quite some time, and they really want to be together forever. The problem is that they were having a hard time confessing their feelings towards each other. Their hearts were pounding at a fast rate, and their minds were trying to keep those thoughts hidden; it was torture.

Link panted as he faced at Zelda with a smile, "H-Hey, Zelda. I-I've been meaning to tell you something for a while now."

Zelda's eyes widened, and set her gaze on Link, "Y-You do? What is it, Link?"

"Um..." Link blushed, as he was trying to confess his love, but in the end, he didn't had the guts to do so, "N-Nevermind. It's nothing really important."

"Oh..." Zelda replied, saddened by those words as she then looked away again. Link felt stupid for saying that, so for that brief moment, he said it.

"Zelda, I like you so much!" Link yelled with his eyes closed. Zelda gasped as Link then looked other way, blushing immensely. "I-I-I think you're very pretty! A-And you're very smart too! I-I think th-that if you were to pick somebody as your boyfriend, he wouldn't want anything else in the universe than to be with you." Link panted, as he waited a few seconds for an answer, but got no reply from Zelda. "Well... atleast that's what I-?"

Zelda then placed her hand gently on Link's hand on the table. Link's eyes widened as he looked at Zelda, who was smiling at him.

"Link... I like you." Zelda said kindly, "I always have liked you ever since I have met you. You were always so nice to me. I could never ask for a better boyfriend than you."

Link was at a lost of words; he couldn't express how happy he was feeling right now. "Zelda... I like you too." He said as he and Zelda then held hands, and sat in front of eachother, "I will do everything to make you happy."

Zelda giggled, "Silly. You're the only thing I need..."

Without saying another word, the two looked at each other passionately and romantically. This was it; the two are going to kiss. They leaned in on each other, lowered their hands to their knees, and closed their eyes as they were about to embrace in a kiss filled with love.

But before they could though, Captain Falcon popped up between them, as Link and Zelda ended up kissing the sides of Falcon's helmet. They didn't realize this, and they didn't disconnect their lips for a couple of seconds as they were enjoying this moment. When the two slowly opened their eyes to see their lover, they gasped as they realized what they were kissing.

"GAAAAHHHH!!" Link and Zelda gasped as they nearly gagged at what just happened.

"Hello, you two! I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important!" Captain Falcon said optimistically, looking at Link first before Zelda, "Oh, and I'm grateful for your passionate kisses you gave me; you two would definitely dominate if you were to participate in a kissing tournament."

"Gaghh... oh..." Link coughed, still recuperating from that kiss.

"Egh... Falcon, what do you want? And, ugh..!" Zelda covered her nose in disgust, "And why do you smell so bad?"

"Ohh, a couple of minutes ago, I was covered in dung from the millions of people in town." Captain Falcon replied happily. Link and Zelda then stared at him dumbfounded, "I tried to wash myself off, but I only managed to get rid of the poo. The stench seems impossible to get rid of."

"Blagh!!" Link and Zelda nearly puked after hearing that, as Zelda then turned green while her cheeks puffed up.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Zelda groaned as she covered her mouth, and rushed off to the bathroom upstairs. Link fell on his knees.

"Wait for me, Zelda..." Link said weakly as he tried to go to the bathroom too, but Falcon suddenly lifted him off from the ground, "Gah?" Captain Falcon carried Link on his shoulder, and took him outside through the front entrance. "Let me go!" Link struggled free, and fell on the ground in front of Falcon. "Ow... what are you trying to do me!?"

"I'm sorry, but I really need your help at this very moment!" Falcon explained.

"Help? Help with what? Gah.." Link spat out some saliva from the kiss earlier, and stood up, "And does it have to be now? I was actually in the mi-"

"Link, you know I never asked you for any big favors since we've met, but as such, I think it is now time that you pay me back for my unselfish attitude during that time." Captain Falcon said bluntly, as Link stared at him annoyed, "You see, I'm in predicament that could only be resolved if somebody were to help me. That's why I picked you, Link, because I know you can help me get through this problem with ease."

Link was puzzled; he didn't know what to say, "Well... Alright. I guess I can check on Zelda later."

"EXCELLENT! LET'S GO!" Captain Falcon grabbed Link from behind his neck collar, and brought him along in his dire quest to stop somebody from... well, I don't know.

**--16:36 P.M.--**

Captain Falcon and Link were walking along an empty plain of grass, as they have been walking deep into the plains ever since they've left the mansion, and were somewhere far off from the town, including the mansion itself.

"Ugh, we've been walking for a long time now..." Link said irritatedly, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Just bare with it for a little longer. We are bound to meet our destination shortly." Captain Falcon said.

"Where are we going anyway?" Link asked.

"I'm not sure yet." Falcon replied.

Link blinked in shock, "Y-You don't know where we're going!? Are we lost then!?"

"Of course not, silly! We're going to a place nobody in their right mind would dare go if they were raised in the city." Falcon replied, "Earlier today, I encountered the evildoer who has been gunning for my Falcon Punch I explained to you earlier."

"Actually, you only said a jerk-head is after you or something, and that was it." Link corrected.

"Anyway... I was able to get a good look at him or her in the plant..." Falcon said with a clenched fist, "He/She was wearing a long brown jacket, black gloves, white boots, and a shady hat. He/She had a strange voice, so I couldn't tell if it's really a male or female. Until I get the name, this criminal shall be known as... the long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman!"

"That's more of a description than a name, and that's too long to remember." Link commented, "And I highly doubt that he or she will always wear the same-"

"In any case, we know what this person looks like, and shouldn't be hard to locate." Captain Falcon said while rubbing his chin, ignoring Link completely, "This person is quite intelligent; he/she used the sewage plant to slow me down. If I hadn't stopped him/her, the whole town would be flooded with doodoo by now." Falcon then looks at Link, "I was wondering why he/she did that; maybe that fiend did it to prevent me from searching the town in clean conditions. But if that's true, he/she will have difficulty going to his/her secret hideout in town. That is, of course... if the base was in town."

Link pretended to stay interested, and stopped walking as Falcon then looked at the sky with confidence, "That's when I concluded that the criminal's base must be somewhere out here in the plains! There can be no other explanation! I am sure to get him/her this time!"

"That's great... so if you're confident about this, why do you need me?" Link asked.

"Link, you have a great experience out in the plains; your navigational skills will come in handy to make my search even easier." Captain Falcon explained, "I know I can depend on you, Link!"

"That's fine, alright. Let's just hurry it up; I want to get back to Zelda..." Link replied rather harshly. A few seconds gone by, before Link felt disturbed, "I'm sorry, Falcon, I didn't mean to yell at you like that." Falcon didn't seem to mind as the two resumed walking, "It's just that... I just confessed my feelings towards Zelda, and I really want to build our relationship as quickly as possible."

"Ah, so you two finally started dating." Falcon said with a smile, "It's about time. We were beginning to worry."

"Excuse me?"

"Everyone in the mansion already knew how you two felt towards each other, but we've noticed how you two never got it on." Falcon explained, "We even made bets to see how long you guys would take until you hook up, and since it took you this long, I believe Samus won the bet."

"O-Oh. I see..." Link said, feeling embarrassed.

"Don't feel bad about it; right now, you should focus your relationship with Zelda." Falcon said in a caring tone, "Trust me; your relationship with Zelda will grow as strong like a tomato sprouting from a healthy vegetable garden."

"Actually, tomatoes are fruits, so-"

"HA! That's only a myth!" Captain Falcon scoffed, "Oh, this place looks perfect for a hideout!"

Captain Falcon and Link stood in front of a dark and spooky forest, with dark clouds above it. Falcon smiled at it, while Link seemed a little intimidated.

"Are you sure the hideout is here?" Link asked.

"This is the perfect to spot to hide from the citizens." Falcon explained, "We must investigate these woods before that criminal knows we're here. Let's move!"

Captain Falcon and Link then made their way into the spooky forest. As they went deeper inside, the darker it got, as the duo could barely see anything around them.

"It's too dark here. Let me get out my lamp." Link said, before Falcon halted his hand from reaching his pockets.

"That's a bad idea! In these kinds of woods, if any creature were to see a glimpse of the light, they would panic, and attack anything they're unfamiliar with."

"We can't just walk around blind." Link argued.

"There's some light up ahead near those trees. We'll use the lamp there." Captain Falcon suggested. The two then slowly made there way towards the light around the trees ahead, "Okay, we're here. Take out your lamp."

Link then takes out his lamp, and lits it on, lighting up the surroundings around him and Falcon, "That's better." Link said as he then turned around, and saw two big eyes staring at him inches away from his face, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Captain Falcon rushed towards Link's aid, and without hesitation, he attacked the creature with numerous of punches. The creature fell down on the floor, as Falcon continued the assualt, punching the creature down with right fists, while Link was panting heavily on his rear.

"There we go! It's knocked out!" Falcon exclaimed victoriously.

Link hurried up on his feet, and raised the lamp over the creature to take a better look at it. To the duo's shock, it was merely a cute widdle squirrel, holding some nuts with swirls in it's eyes as it was unconscious after the beating it took from Falcon.

Both Falcon and Link were stunned, "Y-You've beaten up an innocent squirrel! I can't believe you did this!" Link shouted in panic.

"I-I-I didn't know it was a squirrel!" Falcon stuttered.

"Maybe if you didn't attack it like a madman, you would've figured it out sooner!" Link yelled.

"Hey! I wasn't the one screaming just now!" Falcon retorted, "Which, by the way, I will keep your fear of squirrels from Zelda a secret as long you don't tell anybody what happened here."

"I'm not afraid of... ugh, nevermind. We should probably just keep going." Link said annoyed.

"Atleast it's not dead." Falcon said observing the squirrel, "You should atleast be grateful that I had your back."

"Nugh..." Link sighed.

Falcon and Link resumed their journey, walking deeper into the forest. Link then stepped on something, and then got stuck, "Huh? Ergh..."

"What's wrong?" Falcon asked.

"My foot got stuck." Link said as he tried to raise his leg, but couldn't, "It's strong... can you help me?"

"Let's see." Falcon knelt down next to Link, and tried to see what the problem. Thanks to the light from Link's lamp, he could see it was just a root caught in Link's boot, "Ah, here's the problem. It's seems your foot got stuck in this tree's root here."

"Can you get it out?" Link asked.

"With a little force, it's possible. Hergh!" Falcon grabs the root, and starts pulling it, but it wasn't breaking, "Come on! Let go Link's foot!" Falcon yelled as he pulled even harder, eventually pulling the root off of Link's foot. "There!" Falcon said victoriously, but unbeknown to him, he pulled the root so hard, it made the tree nearby to fall. "Oh?"

"Eh!?" Link was shocked as he watched the tree fall, "How strong were you pulling just now!?"

"I guess I don't know my own strength." Falcon blinked, "But relax! It's just one tree."

The falling tree then hits another tree before landing roughly on the ground. It didn't stop there, as the tree that just got hit also went down, hitting another tree that went down as well. Basically, a row of trees were getting knocked down one by one like a pair of dominoes. Falcon and Link watch dumbfounded as the row of falling trees were now heading towards there direction.

"Run, Link!" Falcon exclaimed as he and Link frantically ran into a cave, before the last tree fell on the ground, and blocked the entrance. Falcon and Link panted heavily, as they looked back to see their exit was blocked.

"That was really uncalled for!" Link shouted, as his voice echoed throughout the cave loudly.

"Shh! Don't yell in a cave; that's bad luck!" Falcon said as he then looked at his dark surroundings. The lamp wasn't brightening up the area that far off, so even with the lamp, it was still difficult to see what lurked inside the cave. "I suggest we walk around here smoothly. Who knows what might be here."

"Fine. I'll lead the way." Link quietly walked in front, with Falcon walking behind while keeping his guard up. They were being stealthy, and for the past several seconds, they haven't encountered anything dangerous. Suddenly, Link's lamp was running out of fuel. "Uh oh."

"What is it?" Falcon asked. He then could see the lamp's light was getting dimmer and dimmer. The light then vanished, and the duo were now surrounded in darkness.

"Alright, don't panic. We can still get out of here without the light. Stay close to me, Falcon." Link said.

"You're the expert..." Falcon said. They walked a few steps forward, but Falcon was already impatient, "Maybe if we can use something here... wait, I think I found some sticks." Falcon picked up the sticks and started rubbing them against each other.

Link turned around, "I don't think it's a good idea to light up something in this part of the cave."

"What makes you say that?" Falcon asked as his sticks were then caught on fire. "Ah, there we go." Falcon stood up, as the light from the fire revealed the ceiling covered with dozens and dozens of bats. The bats opened their eyes, and looked at Link and Falcon. "Oh, that's why..."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Falcon and Link went running out of the cave, with the all bats flying out as well. The duo kept running until they reached a safe distance, and stopped to catch their breath.

"Falcon, I know you were trying to be helpful, but please stop!" Link shouted while rubbing his head.

Falcon stood up, and puts his hand against his head, "Do you hear that?" Falcon asked. Link blinked in confusion, as Falcon then went up to a river, "I can hear something going on over there along this river. I bet the long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman is there! Let's investigate!"

"How are we suppose to get over there. It will take a while if we swam." Link said. Falcon looked around, and spotted what he was looking for.

"There's a canoe! Let's use it!" Falcon said as he and Link then got on the canoe.

"Where did this thing even come from?" Link asked.

"Don't be a whiner who questions things, and let's row!"

Falcon and Link starting rowing the canoe along the stream. They could hear something, and started to row faster, "Come on, Link! We're almost there!"

"I'm rowing, I'm rowing!" Link replied, rowing as fast as he could. When the two went farther along the river, they saw what was there, and stopped as they saw something didn't they didn't expect to see.

There were two men that were competing against each other in a log rolling competition in the middle of the river. What was odd about this was that one man was dressed a giant soda bottle, and other was dressed up as the Kool-Aid guy, and there was banjo music playing in the background. Both Falcon and Link had no idea what was going on as the soda bottle man and the Kool-Aid guy have been competing against each other for some time now. In the end, the soda bottle man fell off the log, and into the water, as the Kool-Aid guy kept rolling on the log in victory.

Falcon and Link went past them, staring at this strange event until they couldn't see them anymore. "Well, that was... odd." Link said.

"Indeed..." Falcon nodded while still looking back, "Although, they were very good. I don't think I can roll on a log while dressed up as a refreshment."

Link rolled his eyes, but then blinked as he noticed something different. "Say, Falcon, is it just me, or is the current moving faster?"

"Hmm?" Falcon noticed the canoe was moving quite fast without him or Link rowing it, "Why, yes it is. How funny, whenever a water current moves this fast, it's usually because there is a waterfall ahead of us."

Falcon couldn't be any more right, as there actually was a waterfall just ahead of him and Link. "Oh god!" Link gasped as he and Falcon then tried rowing the canoe in the opposite direction, but couldn't get away as they then fell off the waterfall along with the canoe.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

SPLASH!!

They both fell into the river below, but they managed to survive. The current then drifted the two near land, where they swam ashore, soaked from head to toe. As they did that, Link realized he had a live fish in his mouth, and immediately spat it out, "Glah! Gaghhugh!" Link tried to recuperate, while Falcon lied on his back near the river in order to catch his breath.

"The long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman is very clever." Falcon said while rubbing his chin, "He/She obviously knew we were coming, and set up that waterfall there as a trap. I cannot even begin to describe how difficult our mission will be later on."

"OR! Maybe we should look where we're going, and perhaps, we might avoid these kind of predicaments!" Link retorted. Link was trying to get up, but since the dirt he was over was so moist, and he was so wet, he kept slipping into the ground, "Ugh... I need a towel."

While the two were just seconds away from recovering, a shadow casted between them. Falcon and Link noticed this, and turned around to see an old wearing a brown cape, and hood over his head, and was also carrying a wooden staff. The two stared at the old man, who smirked, showing his rotten yellow and green teeth.

"Why, hello..." Said the mysterious old man with a weak, yet creepy voice, "It's rare to see people in these part of the woods..."

"Oh, um, hello there." Falcon greeted the man while he and Link were getting up, "Ahem, we are on a hunt for the long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman. Have you happen to have seen him/her, or anyone that looks like that in particular around here?"

"No... I haven't seen anybody like that around these forests..." The old man said with a grin, "I haven't seen a soul in twenty years! Mweh heh heh! Nyeh heh! Nyeh heh hehhh!"

Falcon and Link looked at each other briefly, a little intimidated by the man as he continued to speak, "My name is Charlie; the only man that lives in this forest. You two look like you need some... 'help'. Mweh heh!" Charlie chuckled, "Please... let me take you to my home. You can clean yourselves up there."

"Falcon, I don't think we should trust him." Link whispered to Falcon, "Don't you think he looks suspicious?"

Charlie giggled, and bit his extremely long and smelly nails. He then laughed so much, his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"Nonsense, Link. He looks perfectly sane." Falcon replied optimistically, "Please lead the way, Mr. Charlie."

"Mweh heh heh heh! You're going to like my place..." Charlie said, leading Falcon and Link to his home, "I have plenty of stories to tell."

**--18:09 P.M.--**

Falcon and Link were sitting on the carpet floor, having blankets on them near the fire place of Charlie's home, which was actually a shack in the middle of the forest. There was nothing much in the shack other than a chest, and a bed, and stack of lumber near the fireplace. Charlie puts more lumber into the fireplace, and sits down in his favorite chair near Falcon and Link.

"Ah... I have forgotten how it was like to socialize. It's relieving to have guests, for a change." Charlie said in a relaxed tone.

"Mr. Charlie, if I may ask, why are you living alone in this place?" Falcon asked kindly.

"I enjoy my time here in the forest." Charlie explained, "There is nothing more relaxing than to be out here, writing wonderful stories."

"You're a story-writer?"

"Yes. I have been writing stories for my entire life now." Charlie said, "When I was growing up, I realized that the world has become boring, so I dedicated my life to create lots and lots of stories for people to read. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to read my stories, so I moved out here to write fics for my own amusement. I've been here for twenty years now, and I've been living the heck out of it."

"Don't you ever feel lonely?" Link asked concerned.

"Oh no, never. My stories keep me company." Charlie said as he then took out a cereal box underneath his chair, "When I came here into the woods, I brought nothing but a life-time supply of Corn Flakes, so I may never be hungry again."

"I see..."

"Would you like to see some of my stories? I keep them all in my chest right over there." Charlie said, pointing at the big chest near the stack of lumber.

"Well don't mind if I do. I could use a good read." Captain Falcon said optimistically. He stood up, and walked over to the chest. He opened it, and saw tons of paper filled with words, "Oh, I see tons of valuable content in here."

"Please, read them. It would be an honor for me if atleast one person were to enjoy my work." Charlie pleaded.

"Anyway, Mister... we're looking for someone around here." Link said, "Apparently, he, or she, or whatever decided to go crazy, and threaten Falcon over there. So we're checking if that person is around these woods.

"Really... sounds like a horrible villain."

"I don't really know much about the person; Falcon only--"

"No, I really mean that this person sounds like a horrible villain." Charlie repeated, confusing Link, "Bad guys with personalities are hardly realistic; if they were to have one, they were to be defeated in an instant they confront the heroes. It only makes sense that villains should have no personalities. That way, the heroes will have a very hard time to defeat them. I should know, since I am a story writer."

"I suppose that makes sense..." Link said, while Falcon was reading one of Charlie's story.

"As a story writer, I believe having an unpredictable plot is a good thing. For example, I make an arc that's about a girl getting kidnapped, and the heroes go rescue her, only in the end, the villain does something to twist things in the end. After all that is settled, the following arc will have the SAME concept, only in a different place with new enemies. No one would ever figure out that would happen, and that's how a good story is made."

"Really?" Link asked, trying to sound interested, but was actually bored. Falcon hasn't said word, as he then looks deeper into the chest, and found something else.

"Like I was saying, stories also need supporting characters. In fact, it is essential to have thousands and thousand of supporting characters introduced each chapter. They will help develop the hero's character, which will help him later on in the story. The characters must also be fashionable so that they never appear boring."

Falcon takes out a book with pictures, and skims through a few pages.

"A story must also be simple; anything with too much content can be quite confusing. It may be cheap, but in order to make it look special, I intend to drag out some events for like a hundred chapters or so."

Falcon stopped skimming through the pages, and looked very troubled.

"But in order for the story to really pull through is the villain." Charlie explained, "The villain must be unstoppable, but defeatable at the same time. He must be always smiling, and must explain his attentions in great detail for several pages, however, to prevent the villain's speech from being tedious, the supporting characters must always interrupt the villain at the end of the chapter. It's simple, but brilliant. Lately, my stories as of late have been inspired by a manga that have similar tastes as mine."

"Oh dear lord..." Falcon gawked while closing the book he was skimming through, which turned out to be the lastest volume of the series, Bleach.

Falcon tried to remain calm, as he puts the book back into the chest, and closed it. He then turns around, and inclines on the chest, listening to Charlie's explanation while doing his best not to look afraid.

"My favorite villain from that manga has to be Aizen." Charlie said, making Falcon sweat nervously, "He has everything a villain needs. He has no personality; he smiles at everything; and he has the powers of a god. He's truly unstoppable, and nobody can defeat him. Nobody!!!" Charlie said a little too excited, scaring Link a little, while Falcon was absolutely terrified, "I truly believe... that Aizen... is the best villain ever."

Falcon had enough, "RUN, LINK!! HE'S INSANE!!!"

Link was startled as Charlie then leaps at him, and grabs Link with his filthy nails. "Ah, let go!" Link cried.

"I want you to join my fanclub!" Charlie yelled in a creepy tone, "I just formed it today! It's a club where every Aizen-lover out there can come, and talk about how great Aizen is! Aizen will destroy all his enemies! He will kill them all!"

Falcon breaks Charlie away from Link, knocking Charlie on the floor, "Run, Link! I'll take care of him!"

Link then ran out of the shack, as Charlie got up, and laughed at Falcon, "You don't understand! Aizen can never be topped! He will defeat everybody, including you!"

"Stand back! Don't make me use force!"

"I will make you worship Aizen! HIYAA!" Charlie leaps at Falcon, who charges up his right fist with flames.

"FALCON PUNCH!"

KABOOM!

The shack explodes, and bursts into flames. Link was shocked as Falcon rushes out of the shack, "Did you really had to go that far!?" Link asked.

"Trust me, it's for the best! Now run!!!" Falcon yelled as he and Link fled towards a mountain nearby. Charlie then made out of the shack as well, and yelled at the duo.

"You'll see! Aizen will become even more powerful, and in the end, he will accomplish whatever he has planned! YOU'LL SEE!! MWEEEEHHH!!"

Charlie's voice echoed throughout the mountains as Falcon and Link didn't stop running. There farther they went up, the deeper they were getting into a big snowstorm occurring on the mountain top. After several minutes of running for their lives, they stopped to catch their breath for the 4th time. Although, it was difficult to breath in snow storm.

"That's it! I have had enough mission! I want to go back to the mansion!" Link yelled. Before Falcon could reply, he saw something glimmer at the very top of the mountain.

"Wait! What's that!?" Falcon asked.

Falcon goes to the object, while Link simply took his time and walked with an irritated look. When Falcon reached the top, he knelt down, and picked up what appeared to be an open jar of sauce, with the jar being half empty with frozen sauce.

"Why would something like this be here in the mountains?" Falcon asked himself, until he figured it out, "Wait! Maybe this belongs to the long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman! It makes perfect sense!"

"How is that suppose to make any sense!? That has nothing to do with this sort of matter!" Link yelled furiously.

"It has everything to do with this! That's why coming here was so important from the start; so we can find where the long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman's base is located!" Falcon exclaimed while turning around to Link.

"Instead of being with my new girlfriend, I ended up going with you in a dark forest, punching innocent squirrels, knocking down trees, running away from bats, watching two morons in costumes compete with each other, fall off a waterfall, get scared by an old man who loves Corn Flakes, and go up a freezing mountain to find a stupid jar, instead of a base from which we were suppose to find from the very start!!!" Link was fuming as he then heaved in and out, "Now, before we die from frostbite, PLEASE tell me what that jar will help us find for real!"

Falcon stared at Link blankly, and raised the jar again, "... This jar is a clue to help us find the base..." Falcon blinked. Link then turned the other way, "Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm going back to the mansion before you make me do something I will regret! LATER!" Link yelled as he walked off.

"Don't leave!" Falcon exclaimed, but Link didn't listen to him, "Okay, fine! Leave! I don't need you! I'll go get somebody else! Somebody that will not get upset when I ask him for a favor immediately after he gets a girlfriend!" Falcon then calmed down as he looked at the clouded sky, "I'll find you, you long brown coat, black gloves, white boots, and shady hat man/woman! I WILL FIND YOU!!"

"Uh, hey buddy?"

Falcon turns around to see none other than the two guys dressed up as a soda bottle and the Kool-Aid guy competing against each other from earlier, "Hey, can you take us back to town? We're tired of competing, and we want to go home." The Kool-Aid guy explained.

Falcon stared at the two with a blank expression, and shrugged, "Sure, why not?" Falcon took out his remote, and pushed a button, as the Falcon Flyer then appeared before them. They got in, as the Flyer took them away from the mountain, and went all the way towards town.

At the moment they left, Link came back, feeling sad for yelling at Falcon, "Hey, Falcon, I-I'm really sorry for yelling at you earlier. I probably shouldn't be so mad at something like...? Falcon?" Link looked at his surroundings, "Hello? Falcon? Where did you go? Hello?"

Link wondered what happened to Captain Falcon, as the snowstorm simply grew stronger and stronger.

* * *

Just so you guys know, I like Bleach. I just like to make fun of the series. And no, I don't think Aizen is the best villain ever; he's just bland. LOL!

Anyway, hopefully the next chapter will come soon. Ciao for now!


End file.
